There Isn’t Really Anyone Who Rests in Amsterdam

Questioner: I keep trying to rest, but my mind just keeps going. Another teacher told me that this pointer to just rest will lead me astray. I’m afraid I’m not getting it.

Vince: Look, everyone who is talking about this stuff has his/her own way of trying to help people see what they have seen. I found, in my own seeking, that “trying” really got in the way of simply stopping and seeing what is ALREADY true – that the SEEING/AWARENESS is absolutely, totally, 100 percent, always functioning effortlessly.

Without “trying” to be aware of sensations, there is awareness of sensation.

Without “trying” to be aware of seeing, there is awareness of light/dark/shape/color, etc.

Without “trying” to be aware of hearing, there is awareness of sound.

Without “trying” to be aware of smelling, there is awareness of odor.

Without “trying” to be aware of tasting, there is awareness of taste.

Without “trying” to be aware of thinking, there is awareness of thinking.

All of this is happening all of the time; sometimes, one sense or another is dominant. No matter WHAT is the object of awareness, AWARENESS itself is present or there would be no way to KNOW experience. In your case, a lot of thinking is going on as well as the thought that there shouldn’t be so much thinking – so what? Right now, isn’t there awareness of the thinking? This thinking is happening in a vast, open, spaciousness that is not in the least disturbed by thinking.

Experience itself is ALWAYS changing. You can prove this to yourself by sitting quietly for a moment and just watching – the body moves slightly, an eye twitches, the wind blows, thoughts shift, light or shadow crosses the room, you smell the chicken soup on the stove and then that smell is replaced by something else, you feel at ease and then you feel tense – all of this can happen in an instant. Yet, there is something present and aware that is registering all of these tiny movements/changes…and THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE! “You” are the presence/awareness that KNOWS the changing.

When I say “just rest,” I am saying “rest as THAT.” We are really NEVER DOING OTHERWISE, anyway! Just rest is an attempt to help “you” see what you already are.

So, no, you don’t “need” to rest in order to see what you already are (since you already are what you already are, anyway – my English teacher would not be happy with that one). I have just found that it helps people notice the awareness that is always, already present and to identify as that – and gives them permission to stop seeking/trying.

It is a little like the old pointer of someone standing in Amsterdam asking someone how to get to Amsterdam. If that person is frantically trying to find Amsterdam, someone who is trying to help might first say, “Stop. It’s OK. Take a breath. Just rest. You are already here. There is nothing more you need to do other than to just rest right here, right now.” You see, the resting isn’t a “process” or “technique” that gets them to Amsterdam; but it increases the chance that s/he will see what is already true.

I hope this helps a bit. I hate to say this because it sounds so much the party line, but you really already ARE what you are looking for. WHAT you ARE (it really is more a “what” than a “who”) is what is registering all of the looking and worrying and thinking and trying and efforting and…so, just rest. You are already in Amsterdam. And, after you’ve taken a breath, take a look – there really is no one resting in Amsterdam, either. Wink.

No Experience Necessary

What you are can never be experienced.

Looking for a particular experience as confirmation of what you are – whether peace or love or anger or irritation or rain or cold wind or sand between your toes or terror or calm or equanimity or hunger or sublime spiritual visions – takes you in the wrong direction and will keep you searching forever. Searching, finding, celebrating, losing, and grieving – only to begin searching again and again – is samsara/suffering.

No experience is what you are (read that again – yes, I mean that in both ways). In fact, any experience can only serve to point you back to this present Awareness upon/within/throughout which this very experience, right now, is registered.

Beingness, as an employer, has few requirements: no experience necessary.

Awareness Is Stuff, Stuff Is Awareness

Even though Awareness cannot be “experienced,” this doesn’t mean that Awareness-Being is somehow separate from all of the stuff of life. On the contrary, life is Awareness/Beingness itself. Absolutely everything is known in, by, and as Awareness. Nothing is separate from this Everyday Awareness present here-now…It is never anywhere other than here.

A line from the Heart Sutra says that “form is nothing other than emptiness and emptiness nothing other than form.” It is only thought that separates the two.  If you live in the middle of the cornfields of Illinois (as I do) you might say it this way: Awareness is full of stuff and stuff is full of Awareness!

Isness Is Infinitely Is-ing

Being what you really are is not difficult. Being what you are not and then arguing for or against it is what is difficult.

Notice that right now, if you just rest and welcome everything (really – everything – including your rejection of anything), there is nothing else that needs to be done in order for Isness to Is (so to speak!). It is only a thought which says “I’m not getting it,” or “I am missing something.” Even these thoughts are Isness taking shape as particular thoughts. Isness is is-ing everything: Isness is-ing as this computer; Isness is-ing as the big blond dog on the floor; Isness is-ing fingers; Isness is-ing uncertainty and confusion; Isness is-ing a Vince and a Tom and a Sue and a Roberta and a Karl and… Isness is-ing is-ing!

No effort is necessary for Is-ing to Is. Rest and welcome the fizzing Is-ing.

Nothing to do.

Right here.

Right now.

Rest.

Stop

Wherever you are right now, reading this, stop.

What do you notice? Sounds, sights, sensations, smells…allow them all.

What notices? Thoughts probably stumble through that say “I do” or “me” or “my brain” or “my senses” or something similar.

What notices those thoughts?

Welcome home to the place you never left.

Awareness is Everything

Awareness is present when the “me-sense” is present.

Awareness is present when the”me-sense’ is not present.

Awareness is present when the sense of “beingness” is present.

Awareness is present when the sense of “beingness” is not present.

Awareness is present when there is a sense of “knowing.”

Awareness is present when there is no sense of “knowing.”

Awareness is not dependent upon anything.

Everything is dependent upon Awareness.

Awareness everything.

Don’t Be Fooled By Smoke

Regardless of our understanding, difficult states continue to come up, but we don’t focus on them. We just allow them to be there, allow them to arise and do whatever it is they do, but continue to practice short moments of resting as we are again and again. We begin to see that it all arises within this space and we are that space. The sky is completely unaffected by whatever is passing through it. The sky remains completely unaffected and clear and by taking short moments we get to know that and we gain confidence in it. We are that sky, too. We are not just the arisings.

We can’t hold onto any insight that might happen as a result of resting as the awareness that we are. These objects of awareness that we call insights arise only in the moment. Understanding only happens in this moment, now this moment and now this moment. None of it can be grasped. Any insight is just another object, another thought, no matter how beautiful. It can only be enjoyed in the moment. The smoke takes a particular shape in this moment and then it is gone.

We use the thoughts that arise to limit ourselves in many ways; we tell ourselves what we can and can’t do. What arises doesn’t really limit us in any way. It is like smoke taking the shape of steel bars and then we believe we cannot move through it. We forget that it is just smoke. Understanding, not understanding, getting it, not getting it – all of it is smoke taking one or another shape and it is just us forgetting that it is simply smoke and we can walk through it at anytime. We don’t need to do anything about it. We just rest as we are and it will clear.

This smoke is what we are dealing with in every moment of our lives. We believe we are dealing with reality but we are always just dealing with smoke. We let smoke stop us from doing what needs to be done in any moment. We just keep coming back to resting simply in this moment. As we rely on this open space of awareness; the shapes that smoke takes no longer hoodwinks us. Don’t be fooled – the smoke is still there and it will still make frightening shapes, but we won’t be thrown by it any longer. We know what it is and it can no longer scare us. By just resting in this moment, we have all we need right now. There is nothing special about this. Yet, it can completely transform our life.

Shiny Objects

You are already what you’re looking for. You can’t ‘become’ it, ‘find’ it, ‘create’ it, or ‘lose’ it. All that is ever happening is that our attention gets caught by shiny objects. Misdirected attention.  When it happens – and it will – see that only the attention has moved. What knows the attention has moved remains here as always. Stay here. You’re really never anywhere else anyway; you just think you are. There is no welcome home for you because you never really left.

It’s a Binary Choice

As we go through the day we have thousands of thoughts coursing through awareness of all sorts – practical, happy, sad, memories, plans, judgments, criticisms, fantasies – the list is endless. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. The amount of thinking we have, the speed of our thinking, the tone of our thinking, the density of our thinking – none of that matters to our life if we realize this one simple fact: we are either caught in our thinking or we are aware of our thinking.

What Does It Mean To Be “Caught” in Thought?

I’m guessing all of us have had the experience of driving down a road that we might drive everyday and one day we miss our turn. What was happening? We were caught in thought. Perhaps we are thinking about our upcoming work day or maybe we’re thinking about our kids, or a conversation we need to have with a partner, or maybe we’re thinking that a BLT sounds delicious right about now. No matter the content of Thought, when we forget the FACT that thoughts are constantly arising and sloshing around and then dissipating 24/7/365, cradle-to-grave, we become slaves to our reactions and some form of lesser or greater chaos typically ensues!

The Binary Choice

When we’re driving and miss an exit, it seems obvious we were hypnotized by our thinking in that moment. It isn’t always so obvious as we’re going through our day – but the exact same thing is happening!

Simply SEEING that thinking/experiencing is happening all the time helps us to step out of thoughts. We simply and easily rest back from thoughts and instantly we find ourselves resting in MIND, in this simple, ever-present source of all experiencing, moment-to-moment.

When you find yourself struggling to “understand” or do it”right” or “figure it out” – STOP. DO NOTHING.

Rest. You are already awash in the clarity and peace you imagine exists somewhere other than right where you’re standing in this very moment.

Look gently in this direction of recognizing and FEELING the difference between being caught in thoughts and WATCHING thoughts. Find out for yourself how this changes your experience. Really look – no amount of thinking will get you any closer to what you already are.

Let me know how it goes and if I can help.

The Bricks in Your Head

About three years ago, my wife and I decided to brick our backyard. We have two big trees that cast shade across the yard throughout the growing season; those, combined with four dogs meant no grass and plenty of mud. We had a hard time finding the bricks we wanted to use, but when we did, I stockpiled…hence the 6×8 stack of bricks in the corner of the drive for the past three years.

Ami and I had been talking about moving those bricks since the moment we stacked them there. We talked about finding someone to move them for us. We talked about using them in another part of the property. We talked about giving them away. We talked about selling them. We talked about putting a tiny stick of dynamite in them and exploding them into a fine powder that could float away on the evening breeze. Bottom line: the bricks were still in the driveway.

I often thought about how hard it would be to move the bricks myself. I thought about how my back might go out. I wondered how much each brick weighted (about 10 pounds!). I thought about how much weight in total I would be moving. I thought about where to put them and how to stack them. I thought about how many days it would likely take for me to move them. I considered how that would fit with my work schedule and how to spread it out over time. I groaned while thinking about how hot it is this summer and how hot it would be while moving the bricks. Lots and lots of thinking and no brick moving.

Then, out of nowhere, I got home last Monday, changed my clothes, and with absolutely no plan other than where I would stack them, I began moving the bricks. Brick by brick, into my old red, Radio Flyer wagon – the one my friends and I used for hauling each other down the sidewalk when we were kids. The wagon that was at various times a ride at the fair, a tank, a plane, a submarine, and a space ship. Now, it was carrying bricks for the same boy 50 years later.

After three hours and a bucket of sweat, all the bricks had been moved. All of them. Three hours. In three hours, I accomplished what three years of thinking hadn’t touched. How many other areas in my life are exactly the same? How many different piles of bricks am I carrying around in my mind that could be dispatched in three hours, or three minutes?

Mind bricks are heavier than driveway bricks.

Do is less painful than think.