All of your suffering is your fault. All of my suffering is my fault. It isn’t our mother’s fault or the fault of our teacher or boss or spouse or partner or dog or genes or the president or the economy or the weather.
Our suffering has nothing to do with our income, our education, our weight, our life management skills, our time management skills, our bald spot, our less-than-stellar athletic abilities, our tendency to sweat too much, our questionable choice of friends, or…or…or…
You get the idea.
As long as I believe the THOUGHT that MY suffering comes from or because of YOU (or IT or THEM), then I have reinforced This Conceptual World. Which conceptual world? The one that is telling you at this very moment whether this essay (or the guy writing it) is “right on target” or “he must be full of sh#@!” It is the BELIEF in the THOUGHT (pretty much any thought referring to a “me,” by the way) that creates this tense little knot of worry, uncertainty, and insecurity commonly referred to as “me.”
Anytime we complain about anything – our coffee, the heat, the car, the kids – it is US creating our suffering in that moment. It is this believed THOUGHT/IDEA of “I” – and all of the requirements it has of life attached to it – that creates psychological pain.
Take the blame. EXPERIENCE the discomfort in the body without attempting to THINK your way out of it. Remember, it was thinking that created it. Don’t try to think your way out of anything – especially thinking!
Ask, “what experiences this now?” If an answer comes to mind, it’s wrong. Whatever you think, whatever answer comes, throw it away. Keep coming back to the question, “what experiences this now?” Devour the question and let the question devour you.
Then, blame disappears. Fault disappears. Suffering disappears. You disappear…and Life appears, just as it is – blame, fault, and suffering included. And, that turns out to be more than enough. Weird, huh?